Is my education a problem?

Yes, I’m a baby boomer. Born of the 1950s generation. Celebrated by many as the generation of impact. Enough of us to change the world.

The Civil Rights era gave us access. We invaded the hallowed halls of previously predominantly white institutions. And yes, we swelled the rolls of the Historically Black Colleges as well. We not only went to public schools, but private and parochial schools as well. Degrees were greater than high school diplomas – Bachelor’s, Masters’ and PhDs.

And beyond Civil Rights, there were wars to be protested. The Hippies who defied convention, the Pacifists and others who marched against the war we decided was unjust and had gone on too long. Protesting and overturning the mandatory recruitment of young men, the burning of draft cards. And the women – demanding the rights afforded the men – hallowed institutions invaded by not just Black people, but rights afforded against all matter of discrimination.

Yes, I attended the first march on Washington, D.C. to protest the war in Viet Nam. Yes, I dated Jewish boys and Italians and learned all the words to protest songs. Yes, my environment was fully integrated - my school, my neighborhood, my friends. In situations where there were only one, or two, or three of us, our solidarity ceased at knowing each other’s names, we were free to befriend whomever we liked.

We traveled. Oh the places we’d go, the borders we’d cross, the people we’d meet, the stereotypes we challenged – both in ourselves, our history, and in others.

At 10 months old I attended my first dance performance at Radio City Music Hall. It was Easter. At 14, I traveled to the British West Indies. At 17, I traveled to Europe with my Girl Scout Troop. At 21, I traversed the continent on a Greyhound bus including Toronto and Montreal, Canada. At 22, I moved from the East Coast to the West Coast and danced in a dance company. 

My friends were doing the same. Girls that were NOT light, bright, or  damn near white, were performing in events OTHER than Black dramas; dancing in more than Black dance companies; working in jobs far more significant than helpers or assistants. We were the generation of hundreds of '...the first Black…’ fill in the blank. And the culmination of our success was the election of the first Black President!

Yes, we are different. We are doctors and lawyers, judges and teachers, professors and scientists, politicians, and poets, and we are independent. 

Whether to our detriment or to our desire, we are fiercely independent. Therein lies the rub. We don’t ‘have’ to live anywhere. We don’t ‘have’ to be anything other than what we work, live and strive to do. There are no boundaries, there is no ‘color’ line in our experience. Maybe society has that notion, but it is not bred into those of us who continue to strive to be ‘more.’ We are more than Middle class as we have overcome more than a monetary distinction; we are more than the elite as we have overcome more than an insidious racial barrier; and we are more than worthy of that which we have striven to learn and become through the overwhelming barriers and obstacles we were forced to conquer.

Don’t be hatin'.

Happy Birthday to Me!

As I open my eyes and savor this day, my birthday, I am happy to report that I am in good health, good spirits and blessed by good fortune. I am grateful for a supportive spouse, healthy sons, beautiful grandchildren (their wives contributions duly noted!) and thoughtful friends. Ironically, the last of my Mother’s sisters passed on this same week, yet the legacy continues. I am proud and happy of the bloodline from which I am wrought.

Today I celebrate the abundance of ordinary miracles that are happening all around me. I smell the flowers, I hear the birds chirping from the trees, I touch the soft fur of my dog, and I see the sun shine!

And I say, thank you for this day, another day. And a special thank you to my friends, those who live and those who have passed on, and anyone who has ever crossed my path because each of you has brought me or taught me something. You have all contributed to this life that is my life right here and right now.

Today is my gift, today is my present.

All Good Gifts

Spent last weekend in San Jose, California at an event that I will forever remember as a milestone in my personal growth and development. I promised myself that if I ever had the money, I would participate in a Tony Robbins event - and I had the money, so I did. What this powerful weekend did for me was jettison me out of whatever was left of the comfort zones in my life and motivate me to reach for the stars! So many of my breakthroughs were from things in my life that I thought were over and done, but now, they really are!

For me, it was all about taking action! First, I celebrated the many successes that I have achieved in my life in this past year - the negative things that I gave up and all the blessings that came to pass. Second, I forgave myself for all the time and energy I spent giving my power away to all those things that were detrimental to my personal health, wealth, power and wisdom. And then, the realization that it's never too late to begin again came to me like the burst of a camera flash.  

So here I am, at the beginning. There are products to create, websites to develop and wisdom to share. There are relationships to cultivate that are long past due in my life - both friends and lovers. And there is much to pay forward for all the blessings that I realize have come to pass in my life.

The Truth About Me

I have been resisting. I wanted my life to be glamorous, and then I settled for behind the scenes, and then I settled for obscurity. That's just not right. I was born to shine. I was born to make a mark in this world. I am a unique wonder of the Universe. My purpose in life used to be to share, to make everyone I came into contact with happy, and to create peace. Today, my purpose is to create opportunities, to be a positive influence, to be a blessing where I can and to share love and wisdom.

I wanted to be a dancer, and then I was happy being a producer, now I'm in a dead-end job with no chance of making a difference. That is what I believed.
The truth is, I am a writer. I have ALWAYS been a writer. The only thing that I have done from the minute I had pen in hand to this day, is write. Toni Morrison said that if I had not read a story that was MY story, then I was obliged to tell it. 

So here I am to tell my story. I will post chapters and stories on my new blog. In the end, I will put them altogether as a legacy for my children and what's left of my family. Much of this story will be my family's story. They are entwined in all the pages of my memories. But I don't have to get their permission and I don't have to please them either. After all, in the end, this is  still about me. So I hope you will join me on this journey. 

I have created a new website, samelasunshine.com for this purpose. This site will continue to be reflections on the Spiritual side of my life, but stop on over to SamelaSunshine.com when you can and see where it all began.

"My only purpose for being on the planet is to awaken to my God Self!  To celebrate life!  And to do what brings me joy!"Rev Michael Bernard Beckwith

One Love

As soon as I realized that I was blocking my own abundance and subsequently opened up to the Universe – not only do I have money in the bank (two paychecks in a row!) Money is starting to come from everywhere! In lieu of my past mindset of blowing the money by gambling it away at the bar, I have used the money to pay off a bill here and there and to buy stuff I could actually use. Now I see where the Universe has brought me these same opportunities in the past and I have called them serendipity yet in the same breath I have gone out and BLOWN the money creating an even deeper hole than before! It’s not like that anymore. As my relationship to the One Spirit, One Universe, One Divine Presence blossoms, I see that there is no going back. I have been changed for good…

No Coincidence

I mentioned once before that during one week at school I had a class in Journalism where we were studying a certain style of writing and the story we were reading was about a tribe, that, it turns out, we were also studying in my Earth Science class as an example of sustainable living and, coincidentally, a paper about this tribe was one of the options in my Philosophy class! My cousin tells me that ‘it’s all connected, if you can just see the connections.' In all of my adult life, it was the first time I had ever thought about it - the connections. 

And just as a series of diverse subjects can be addressing the same story from different angles; my life reflects an opportunity to look at every situation from a different perspective.  My aunt (who was the Mother of my wise cousin) said – there are three sides to every story, your version, my version and what really happened. I now like to call it ‘God’s version’ because it is the Truth of every situation and circumstance subject to interpretation.

How do I see this? How does GOD see this? And if I AM GOD, how do I reconcile the observer from the observation? Is God within and without at the same time? Since God is everywhere at once, what am I discovering/revealing in this situation where God is omnipresent? It’s crazy to me that I’m even writing these words because there is so much that I have never thought about or considered that I have just taken for granted, but now I know that I know. And what I don’t know I am learning, revealing, and discovering from without AND within. And I am open to the information and the knowledge that is revealing itself to me in this moment – and in this moment, and this moment…

It's Time

It is June 2012. As I celebrate how long it has been since I've indulged in my vices (10 months), how recently I've traveled (this past weekend) and how motivated I am to be about 'Arts Managing' (NOW!) I take this moment to give great gratitude for how far I have come. I have come from the depths of despair and I have risen like the Phoenix. It is time for a NEW adventure. It is time to 'Release the Kracken' (or however you spell it.)

My friend said to me, 'If you're not working on your art, what are you doing?' Which was the straw that motivated me to get 'Kracken' (couldn't resist.)

So WATCH THIS SPACE - in just a few days I will begin to log the adventure of my journey back into the Performing Arts...And I will again share my Spirit and my Muse. I am learning - consistency.