Sunday, June 24, 2012

The Truth About Me

I have been resisting. I wanted my life to be glamorous, and then I settled for behind the scenes, and then I settled for obscurity. That's just not right. I was born to shine. I was born to make a mark in this world. I am a unique wonder of the Universe. My purpose in life used to be to share, to make everyone I came into contact with happy, and to create peace. Today, my purpose is to create opportunities, to be a positive influence, to be a blessing where I can and to share love and wisdom.

I wanted to be a dancer, and then I was happy being a producer, now I'm in a dead-end job with no chance of making a difference. That is what I believed.
The truth is, I am a writer. I have ALWAYS been a writer. The only thing that I have done from the minute I had pen in hand to this day, is write. Toni Morrison said that if I had not read a story that was MY story, then I was obliged to tell it. 

So here I am to tell my story. I will post chapters and stories on my new blog. In the end, I will put them altogether as a legacy for my children and what's left of my family. Much of this story will be my family's story. They are entwined in all the pages of my memories. But I don't have to get their permission and I don't have to please them either. After all, in the end, this is  still about me. So I hope you will join me on this journey. I have created a new website, for this purpose. This site will continue to be reflections on the Spiritual side of my life, but stop on over to when you can and see where it all began.

"My only purpose for being on the planet is to awaken to my God Self!  To celebrate life!  And to do what brings me joy!"Rev Michael Bernard Beckwith

Saturday, June 23, 2012

One Love

As soon as I realized that I was blocking my own abundance and subsequently opened up to the Universe – not only do I have money in the bank (two paychecks in a row!) Money is starting to come from everywhere! In lieu of my past mindset of blowing the money by gambling it away at the bar, I have used the money to pay off a bill here and there and to buy stuff I could actually use. Now I see where the Universe has brought me these same opportunities in the past and I have called them serendipity yet in the same breath I have gone out and BLOWN the money creating an even deeper hole than before! It’s not like that anymore. As my relationship to the One Spirit, One Universe, One Divine Presence blossoms, I see that there is no going back. I have been changed for good…

Friday, June 15, 2012

No Coincidence

I mentioned once before that during one week at school I had a class in Journalism where we were studying a certain style of writing and the story we were reading was about a tribe, that, it turns out, we were also studying in my Earth Science class as an example of sustainable living and, coincidentally, a paper about this tribe was one of the options in my Philosophy class! My cousin tells me that ‘it’s all connected, if you can just see the connections.' In all of my adult life, it was the first time I had ever thought about it - the connections. 

And just as a series of diverse subjects can be addressing the same story from different angles; my life reflects an opportunity to look at every situation from a different perspective.  My aunt (who was the Mother of my wise cousin) said – there are three sides to every story, your version, my version and what really happened. I now like to call it ‘God’s version’ because it is the Truth of every situation and circumstance subject to interpretation.

How do I see this? How does GOD see this? And if I AM GOD, how do I reconcile the observer from the observation? Is God within and without at the same time? Since God is everywhere at once, what am I discovering/revealing in this situation where God is omnipresent? It’s crazy to me that I’m even writing these words because there is so much that I have never thought about or considered that I have just taken for granted, but now I know that I know. And what I don’t know I am learning, revealing, and discovering from without AND within. And I am open to the information and the knowledge that is revealing itself to me in this moment – and in this moment, and this moment…

Monday, June 11, 2012

It's Time

It is June 2012. As I celebrate how long it has been since I've indulged in my vices (10 months), how recently I've traveled (this past weekend) and how motivated I am to be about 'Arts Managing' (NOW!) I take this moment to give great gratitude for how far I have come. I have come from the depths of despair and I have risen like the Phoenix. It is time for a NEW adventure. It is time to 'Release the Kracken' (or however you spell it.)
My friend said to me, 'If you're not working on your art, what are you doing?' Which was the straw that motivated me to get 'Kracken' (couldn't resist.)
So WATCH THIS SPACE - in just a few days I will begin to log the adventure of my journey back into the Performing Arts...And I will again share my Spirit and my Muse. I am learning - consistency.