FEAR

What do you fear? How does fear limit you? Does fear stop you from being all you can be or moving on with your life and business? Fear wears many "masks” - the fear of failing, fear of success, fear of rejection, fear of intimacy, fear of emotional pain, fear of being alone/abandoned, fear of the unknown. Fear can paralyze us, and make us doubt our abilities, even our worthiness. It can stop us from asking for what we want and even realizing what we truly value, need, and want in our lives.

False Evidence Appearing Real – Forget Everything and Run – Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway – What is Fear? A well-known quote might be helpful to remember when facing fear, "Fear knocked at the door, Faith answered, and no one was there."

FEAR

Fear doesn't live here anymore
Fear is gone, moved away or simply disappeared
I don't remember when fear first arrived
Fear it seems has always been
I forgot just why it came
Although I'm sure fear was invited
Maybe I was curious or just lonely
Something is better than nothing
Or so I believed
As time elapsed fear just became part of me
Comfortable because it was familiar
Funny how fear can become a comfort
Because I believed fear was a part of me
I never doubted fear
Fear simply was
I am older and wiser now
As I matured I began to question fear
"Why are you here?" I asked
"Why does fear exist?"
"Because I love you," fear said
"To protect you," fear replied
Fear is a lie
Like all lies I wanted to believe fear
I wanted Love - I wanted protection
Mostly, I wanted Not to be alone
Fear became my companion, my teacher & guide
Fear & I went everywhere together
Fear never failed me
I could always count on fear
But...fear could not make me happy
I want to be happy
So I had to make a choice
Fear doesn't live here anymore!

Celebrate World Emoji Day: From Pictograms to Global Icon

Do you know that there’s a world holiday celebrating an emoji? The definition of an emoji from Wikipedia is “a pictogram, logogram, ideogram, or smiley embedded in text and used in electronic messages and web pages.” 

The primary function of modern emoji is to fill in emotional cues otherwise missing from typed conversation as well as to replace words. 

In today’s text-fueled world, emojis have become our go-to for expressing feelings and spicing up conversations without ever saying a word. Emoji exist in various genres, including facial expressions, expressions, activity, food and drinks, celebrations, flags, objects, symbols, places, types of weather, animals and nature. But have you ever wondered where these cute little icons come from?

The word “emoji,” which originally meant “pictograph,” is derived from the Japanese words “e (浵, “picture”) + “moji” (文字, “character”); the English terms “emotion” and “emoticon” are merely coincidental. Japanese manufacturers of portable electronics produced the first emoji sets in the late 1980s and early 1990s. After Unicode started incorporating emoji into the Unicode Standard, emoji gained popularity all around the world in the 2010s. They are now regarded as being a significant component of Western and global popular culture. The Oxford Dictionaries 2015 Word of the Year was the emoji “Face with Tears of Joy” (see above).

The emoticon, which computer scientist Scott Fahlman introduced in 1982 and proposed might replace language with text-based symbols like 🙂 and :-(, was the inspiration behind the emoji. It was not until Japanese, American, and European corporations started developing Fahlman’s idea in the 1990s that it became a widely accepted concept. Scott Fahlman’s emoticons importantly used common alphabet symbols and aimed to replace language/text to express emotion, and for that reason are seen as the actual origin of emoticons.

Fast forward to today, and we have over 3,500 emojis available at our fingertips! Who knew a small, pixelated smiley face could turn into a global social phenomenon? Next time you send a playful wink or a thumbs-up, remember you’re participating in a rich, evolving history of visual storytelling.

Whether you’re all about the heart-eyes or always go for the traditional smiley, take a moment to consider how far it has come from its modest beginnings in Japan to being a worldwide language that unites us all. 

Enjoy your emoji-filled conversations, and Happy World Emoji Day, July 17, 2024!

Celebrate National Candy Month: Sweet Traditions, Timeless Delights, and Summer Fun

For all you candy lovers out there, this is the month to celebrate! June is National Candy Month, according to the National Confectioners Association. During National Candy Month, candy companies celebrate making exciting, authentic delights that they have been making for over a century.

This is a month to celebrate for many people, including those who enjoy chocolate, candies, gum, and mints, as well as others who recognize the significant economic benefits of a fun and responsible sector of a traditional American manufacturing success story.

The group claimed that “National Candy Month is a pivotal point in the treating calendar” for the $48 billion confectionery industry. It honors those who create America’s favorite confections and serves as a reminder that chocolate and candy make summertime activities—such as weekends, holidays, and vacations—sweeter.

According to the NCA, Americans consume candy and chocolate two to three times a week. Furthermore, 86% of travelers by car will pack chocolate and candies, 82% of family visitors will share delicacies, and 68% of beachgoers will bring their favorite treats with them.

Convenience stores have become the go-to destination for consumers seeking both traditional and innovative sweets, ever since the confectionery made its first appearance on their shelves.

John Downs, president and CEO of the NCA says, “As consumers savor the longer nights, warmer temperatures and relaxed schedules of the season, they will turn once again to chocolate and candy to enhance their favorite summer activities and commemorate cherished traditions.”

Spring into Action: Embracing the Outdoors at Any Age

Ah, Spring! That magical time of the year when nature shakes off its snowy blanket and blossoms into an explosion of colors. It’s as if the world is stretching its limbs after a long nap, and so should we. At Your Next Option, we believe it’s never too late to embrace the change of season and the outdoor adventures that come with it. Today, let’s chat about coming out of hibernation, enjoying the weather, and why your age is just a number when it comes to enjoying outdoor activities.

Spring offers a unique opportunity for everyone, regardless of age, to engage with nature and revive their spirits. The beauty of spring is not just in its visual splendor but in the myriad of ways it invites us to participate in life outdoors. From the simplest activities like walking in a dewy park at dawn to more organized events like community gardening, spring beckons us to step outside and breathe fresh life into our routine.

Breaking Down Age Barriers

First off, let’s tackle those pesky limiting beliefs about aging. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking certain activities are off-limits as we grow older. However, research continually shows that staying active physically can contribute significantly to our overall well-being, regardless of the number of candles on our birthday cake. Whether it’s a leisurely walk in the park, joining a community gardening project, or even something more adventurous like kayaking, the key is to move. Moving not only revitalizes the body but also sharpens the mind. So, why let a mere number dictate what you can and cannot do?

The benefits of staying active are well-documented, ranging from improved physical health to enhanced mental clarity. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) regular physical activity can help manage weight, reduce the risk of chronic disease, increase longevity, and improve sleep quality. For older adults, engaging in regular exercise can also maintain independence and prevent falls. The good news? Outdoor activities provide a perfect platform for maintaining an active lifestyle, offering both gentle and strenuous options suited for every fitness level.

Connecting with Nature and Others

Engaging in outdoor activities is a splendid way to connect—with nature, with others, and, most importantly, with yourself. Nature has this incredible ability to soothe and heal, something we could all use a bit more of. Imagine the soft murmur of a nearby stream as you hike, the slight rustle of leaves with every step you take, or the warmth of the sun as you tend to a flower bed. These experiences can be deeply meditative and rejuvenating. Plus, joining clubs or groups focused on outdoor activities can open the door to new friendships and social connections, combating loneliness and isolation that some may feel in their golden years.

Outdoor adventures can also be a social affair, offering numerous opportunities for making new friends or even rekindling old acquaintances. Group hikes, bird watching clubs, or outdoor photography classes are great examples of how you can combine socializing with physical activity. Such group activities are not only enjoyable but are also key in building a supportive community that values active living.

Embracing New Challenges

For those who might be contemplating more challenging activities, spring is the ideal time to start. Kayaking, mountain biking, and rock climbing are excellent for those looking for a bit of adventure. These activities not only challenge the body but also engage the mind, providing a wholesome and invigorating experience.

Fear of trying something new can often be a barrier. However, many organizations offer beginner classes and are geared towards making outdoor activities accessible for all ages and skill levels. Remember, every expert was once a beginner, and many have started their journeys later in life.

Tools and Tips for Success

To make the most of the outdoors this spring, consider the following tips:

• Start Slow: If you’re just getting out of a less active lifestyle, start with low-impact activities and gradually increase intensity.
• Safety First: Always ensure that you have the proper gear and that you prioritize your safety, especially in unfamiliar activities.
• Join a Group: Look for local clubs or groups that align with your interests. This could also be a great way to meet like-minded individuals.
• Consistency is Key: Try to incorporate small outdoor activities into your daily routine. Even 20 minutes a day can make a significant difference.

Conclusion

“Embracing the Outdoors at Any Age” is more than just a call to action; it’s a mindset. At Your Next Option, we encourage everyone to discard any self-imposed limits and enjoy the bountiful, rejuvenating, and inspiring nature of spring. Let this season be a reminder that life is out there waiting to be lived, no matter your age. So, lace up your boots, grab your hat, and step into the sunshine. The great outdoors is calling, and it’s time to answer.

Securing Your Legacy: The Importance of Making a Will

August marks the observance of “Make a Will” month, a timely reminder of the significance of estate planning and ensuring that your wishes are carried out after your passing. Creating a will is not just a matter of documenting your assets; it’s an act of love and consideration towards your loved ones. By taking the time to outline your desires, you provide invaluable clarity and guidance during a potentially tumultuous time.

A will serves as a roadmap for distributing your assets, personal belongings, and investments among your beneficiaries. Without a will, state laws could dictate how your estate is divided, which might not align with your true intentions. Writing a will allows you to make choices that reflect your values, ensuring that your family, friends, and causes dear to your heart receive the support you wish to provide.

Furthermore, a will can prevent potential conflicts and disputes among family members. By clearly stating your intentions, you help to minimize misunderstandings and disagreements that may arise after your passing. This can help preserve family relationships and minimize stress during an already emotionally challenging period.

Beyond asset distribution, a will is an opportunity to appoint a guardian for your minor children, should anything happen to you and your spouse. This ensures their well-being and care according to your preferences, providing peace of mind in uncertain time

Contact me to consider taking advantage of the opportunity to have a professional will written for you, along with access to lawyers addressing other crucial legal matters. Subscribing to such a program can alleviate the complexities of navigating legal documentation, ensuring that your wishes are accurately recorded and legally binding.

Remember, a will is a timeless gift you leave behind, an expression of your values and a testament to your care for your loved ones. This “Make a Will” month, take the opportunity to secure your legacy and provide your family with the protection and guidance they deserve. Be sure to contact me and take the first step towards safeguarding your future and the well-being of those you hold dear.

What is dying?

As an adult, I started to compare it to moving away and not seeing someone ever again to dying. How is it different? I still feel the same way about the people I left when our family relocated from New Jersey to Pennsylvania.  I was 7 years old. There are several whom I have not seen since.  Have they died?

When we break up with a lover, often, except for traveling in the same circles, we cease to see that person ever again. We will or we won’t miss them, have they died? How is it different?

Is it expectation?  When a person dies, a lot of people are devastated because they won’t physically see that person again. When a person leaves, or moves, or is somehow permanently separated, in our mind we know that person still goes on. If it was any situation other than death, our brain holds some belief that there’s a chance that we might ever see them again…regardless of the circumstances. In death, is that belief terminated. Is it true?

How will I know if I am dead? Only man is conscious of thinking about what he is thinking about. Will I stop thinking? If I stop thinking, I won’t know that I’m not thinking and I won’t be aware that I am gone. What if my consciousness goes on? What if I just start thinking about other things instead? Maybe instead of how to pay that bill or get a new job, it's about how to get somebody’s energy higher using whatever my skills and talents are ‘on the other side.’ Where is the 'other side?' What if I become part of the greater consciousness of the earth – if you believe that there IS a greater consciousness? What if I become part of the Divine Energy of the planet – just the good stuff? I have no answers, it is just a question…

I offer you this poem:

The Ship

I am standing on the seashore
A ship sails and spreads her white sails to the morning breeze
She is an object of beauty and I stand ther watching her till at last she fades on the horizon
And someone at my side says, ‘She is gone’
Gone where?
Gone from my sight, that is all.
She is just as large in the masts, hull and spurs as she was when I saw her
And just as able to bear her load of living freight to its destination
The diminished size, the total loss of sight is in me, not in her,
And just at the moment when someone at my side says, ‘She is gone’
There are others who are watching her coming and other voices take up the glad shout
'Here she comes'

And that is DYING.

BISHOP BRENT

I'm going to be a grant writer!

What's up, my friends? Happy October 2021. This is when time speeds up, it gets dark way too early, and we go from Halloween to Thanksgiving to Christmas in the blink of an eye.

What's on your agenda for this final quarter of 2021? It was crazy last year and just a little less crazy this year. 

I'm taking my own advice that I share with my Melders group on Facebook and embarking on a new project. Grantwriting! It only makes sense. My degree is in Arts Administration. I took two years of grant-writing and fundraising classes. I didn't even consider it as a career. However, as the world turns, and many businesses are going online or virtual, it seems to me that this career is right up my alley. 

It can be a lucrative freelance gig. I have worked in a variety of non-profit organizations at every level. I've worked for small nonprofits, like Women of Diversity, or big nonprofits, like the Utah Shakespeare Festival. I've done everything from volunteer to Executive Assistant. And there's more to it than just writing and winning grants. I believe that whatever I do will ultimately have a meaningful impact somewhere! So here I go. 

Please feel free to follow my adventures here as I discover what it's all about (Alfie... age-related reference). And I'll try to post a little more often. 

Next up, Halloween!!

Babe and Frank's

Across the street from my elementary school sat Babe and Frank’s. The Soda Shoppe was typical for the time. Glass front. Green screen door. The screen is pushed in from years of slamming and banging wear and tear. The oak door is swung back against the wall and out of sight not to be closed until the end of the day. A ratty runner that might once have also been green is in a narrow strip down the center of the aisle. A glass case, on the right, framed in steel on top of which sits the cash register is just inside the door. On the left, a jukebox and three or four booths along the wall. At the back, in the center, the runner ends just this side of a dark corridor that probably leads to storage and the back door. Opposite the booths were two or three pinball machines and the rest of that side was all counter seating. There was a space between the end of the counter and the glass case to pass through.

The year was 1966. I was in the sixth grade.

The usual was a cheeseburger and fries, and a Strawberry Ice Cream Soda with Butter Pecan Ice Cream. Fritos to take home, unless it was the beginning of the school year. Because school started in late Fall, we’d often stop at the Fruit and Vegetable shop in the middle of the next block to reach into a freezing cold barrel of brine for a dill pickle or pick a giant pomegranate from the stack to eat as we walked home.

Frank has fried a mound of steak ‘Philly’ style. Deftly chopped with two spatulas, and oil shot out of clear mustard squeeze bottle made for squirting condiments on food. Steam rises from the grill. Babe is wiping tears from her eyes as she chops the last of the white onions to be grilled right next to the steak for a tasty addition.

Babe, in her starch white waitress’s uniform with dyed jet-black hair on her head, in a slightly whipped sprayed stiff up-do that in the heat of the restaurant would never last in any other particularly formal hairstyle. She is short, slim, and at least 40 years old – in my eyes.

Wearing lots of makeup, but, thankfully, no blue eyeshadow. Her eyelids darkened on the top and the bottom with black eyeliner and fake eyelashes set perfectly upon each eyelid. Her eyebrows were drawn perfectly where they should be as she tweezed them all but close to the center which she used as a reference point.

She wore too red lipstick that she refreshed whenever she got a moment between taking orders and running the cash register. Her pancake base makeup was just a smidgen too dark so where it ended under her chin was a faint line before her neck began. She wore simple gold earrings like brass buttons in her ears. Her mezuzah, a subtle symbol of Judaism that she wore on a thin, gold chain around her neck, was her only other adornment. The mezuzah was real gold. You could tell. She wore support hose and black flats.

She would call out hot food orders to Frank from the register, and then she would make the hoagies. She would chop onions, shred lettuce, chop tomatoes and refill the pickles. There’s nothing like an authentic Philadelphia Hoagie. It’s not just the lunchmeat and the variety of condiments including oil and vinegar and Italian seasoning on the top. It’s also the BREAD.

Rosie was the other waitress at Babes and Franks. She wore a little waitress cap and her hair was always in a neatly coifed flip. Her cap sat in the center at the back of her head pinned carefully so as not to move. It looked more like a nurse’s cap but I think they might have ALL been nurse’s caps at the time. Rosie was, as they called it then, stacked. Dramatic breasts and hips and a small waist. She was easily 5’9” tall. Her uniform fit her like a glove, just tight enough to compliment her shape, but without fear of a rip or a split. And just sexy enough to make the teenage boys hormones rage.

In contrast to Babe, her makeup was perfectly appointed. Not too much eye makeup. No tell-tale line between where her foundation ended and her neck began. Only a hit of blush and fresh bronze lips. She wore no jewelry, smacked gum like a teenager, wisecracked with the boys and was incredibly sympathetic to the girls. After all, everybody had hormones!

So Babe worked the counter and the register and made cold food. Rosie waited tables, and Frank grilled. On any given day, at about 12:15, there were easily 50 people in a space meant to hold 25, 30 (if we sat on laps.) We all got served, we all got to eat, and rarely was anyone late from lunch to return to school across the street.

 

Let Me Live

 Not my normal. I had to say something. Enough is Enough.

We. Are. Tired.

How come the Police only ‘accidentally’ shoot Black people? How come they don’t ‘accidentally’ shoot White people? Or any of the other Ethnics in this country? How come only Black people are met with ‘deadly force’? How come they only pull guns out on Black people? Why is everything a gun except a gun?

And they don’t even RECOGNIZE a gun when they SEE one or DON’T see one?

This is madness. Did we learn nothing in lockdown? White men are out again killing crowds of people and they are rarely met with deadly force? What’s up with THAT?

What about Colorado?

What about Georgia?

What about Florida?

These guys are still ALIVE.

I can’t…

I need to run some errands this morning. To ensure I arrive alive, I won't take public transit (Oscar Grant). I removed all air fresheners from the vehicle and double-checked my registration status (Daunte Wright), and ensured my license plates were visible (Lt. Caron Nazario). I will be careful to follow all traffic rules (Philando Castille), signal every turn (Sandra Bland), keep the radio volume low (Jordan Davis), and won't stop at a fast food chain for a meal (Rayshard Brooks). I'm too afraid to pray (Rev. Clementa C. Pickney) so I just hope the car won't break down (Corey Jones).

When you run errands today, be sure not to dance (Elijah McClain), stop to play in a park (Tamir Rice), patronize the local convenience store for snacks (Trayvon Martin), or walk around the neighborhood (Mike Brown). Once home, don’t stand in your backyard (Stephon Clark), eat ice cream on the couch (Botham Jean), or play any video games (Atatiana Jefferson).

I guess I’ll watch a movie around 7:30pm, I won’t leave the house to go to Walmart (John Crawford) or to the gym (Tshyrand Oates) or on a jog (Ahmaud Arbery). I won't even walk to see the birds (Christian Cooper). I’ll just sit and remember what a blessing it is to breathe (George Floyd) and I definitely won’t go to sleep (Breonna Taylor).

 Let. Me. Live.

 

What have we done that makes us your one and only target?

East Bay, Take 2

Well, the summer flew by and my feet sort of reached a plateau and stayed there. In October, we went to Washington State to visit Kenneth's friends Scott and Stacey Burrell. Scott is a carpenter. They bought a house on 5 acres of land. They lived in a mobile home on the property while Scott revamped the house and Stacey worked at the local hospital. They moved into the house and rented the trailer. Stacey's parents came to stay with them on the property, and Scott is building them a house as well! He's good.

We went almost to the northernmost tip of the United States to Ruby Beach. It was beautiful. I was happy and in my element. I don't think I could live there (no Black people) but I could certainly visit more often!

Stacey recommended that I try a drug called 'Lyrica' for my feet. Many of her patients got relief from it, she said. I said I would check it out.

Came home and asked my internist. She said to try it. She wrote me a script for 30 tablets. I read about it online. It said it was possibly 'addictive.' I didn't think I wanted to have anything to do with an 'addictive' drug, but decided that if my feet were having an 'impossible' day, I would check it out. Well, that day came. I popped one of the pills and MIRACULOUSLY my feet felt PERFECT. I mean, there was no pain, no stinging, NOTHING. I was amazed. However, it lasted less than an hour. My feet started to sting, slowly at first, but truly, it was within an hour. I got why it's addictive. To have my feet feel absolutely normal again? I'd take this drug day and night...so I threw them away.

Sad, but true. A little while later, I was introduced to a cream. Real-Time Pain Relief Cream. I thought it was another snake oil sale, until I got the samples! Love this stuff. It doesn't make the sensation go away completely, but it tones it down enough for me to walk 5-10K steps a day! And I do!

Relief is on the way, I decided. It's been over a year. February has come and almost gone...I was in the hospital then! Happy that my body is functioning at close to 100%, that is, everything is working now!

My friend Bev Saunders gave me a call. She is selling stuff again. Thought I'd be interested. It's MLM and everyone knows MLM is a scam...LOL! She sent me to watch a video about these DNA drops. I was mildly interested and she offered to send me samples. Never one to turn down anything free, I said 'Sure.' And I'm glad I did. This product, the one called 'SLD' is anti-inflammatory. What a difference. I only took it for 3 days and my feet felt so different - like they were coming back to life! I immediately signed up (I don't have to sell, just buy) and ordered a bunch for myself. Then I sent the video to my Vitamin K (I'll tell you about him another time) and he wants to try them. I just randomly asked my friend who called me from the DMV (Delaware-Maryland-Virginia) area if she'd like to watch the video and try them. She, too, said yes. Uh-oh. This MLM thing is getting serious...LOL!

Which brings me to why I am writing this blog this day, because I have more proof that the Universe works and that's what this blog is about. Don't take my word for it, read on.

Earlier last week I was thinking about getting some lighter compression socks - I have 20-30mmHg (it's a blood pressure measurement) and I was wanting some 15-20mmHg. I decided I would check them out when I got home because I was just gearing up to go to California.

Originally, I would have gone to California in January, my usual jaunt for MLK weekend, but my cousin said not to come if I was going to fly in an airplane, I could visit if I drove. Well, I didn't plan to drive so I cancelled. No cousins, no Jacque, no Denise. Nobody. Nothing. 

February came along and I was just feeling out of sorts. Couldn't put my finger on it. Realized I was missing my trip to Northern Cal. Another good friend of mine posted that her patio was ready for company and I posted 'Don't tempt me' as a reply. Then she said that she had a room...and the next thing I sent her was my itinerary.

So this wasn't my ordinary trip, but I was still going to the East Bay, I would still visit Northern Cal. I would still see the water and ride the BART train - SOLD!

I was also thinking that if we did it like last time, I would take the BART train from the airport, she would pick me up in El Cerrito and we could do a 'drive-by' of my cousins house, with them waving from their picture window. Before I had a chance to suggest this, however, she said that I could just take the AMTRAK train from the airport that stopped 10 minutes from her house. Sigh. Oh well, I thought, I still get to see her, her new house, her family, her new friend. It was still going to be worth the trip!

She texts me the night before to tell me that she has an appointment at 1PM, and my plane was due to arrive at 10:30AM. What time was my train arriving at the station? I explained to her that the trains don't run very often and the closest timed one arrived at 2:20PM. She said that was OUTRAGEOUS and for me to just take the BART train to El Cerrito and she would pick me up.

I asked her if she would be willing to drive by my cousin’s house and she said 'Sure!' Wow, that turned out better than I imagined. When we drove by, my cousin came down the steps, masked and said that she was getting her second Covid shot on Saturday and if I had some time, could I come back and visit? I told her I'd let her know.

Turns out, my friend had a job interview on line on Monday and if we found a train, I could ride the AMTRAK to Richmond, where my cousin could pick me up, and I could visit with her and take the train from there to the airport! PERFECT.

It gets better...I call my friend in Oakland and ask her if she's available for lunch on Monday, Yes, she says. We'll meet at BART in Oakland! So I go to my cousins, hang out for a couple hours, just as we were leaving for the BART train, she says, 'Oh, I have these compression socks that I bought that he's not going to wear - I'm sure they'll fit you...' She runs upstairs, brings them back, they are all black, 6 pairs, and they are 15-20mmHg! None of which would have happened if she hadn't had her second shot, I hadn't had the opportunity to visit, and I got to hug and kiss my cousin in the flesh!

Finally, I get to Oakland, we go to lunch in Jack London Square. After a while my friend says that it's probably time for me to be getting to the airport, I thought she was taking me to BART - she brought me to the door of Southwest Airlines!

THAT is just another example, of the many documented here, of how the Universe works.

Thanks for reading to the end. 

How my 2020 began

Let me tell you about 2020. I posted around Christmas time that I was pretty down. I was missing family, missing the East Coast, missing my Mom and my Dad. It was just sad. I made it through the holidays because I was looking forward to visiting my cousins in California. I have a couple California stories. I'll share them next time. 

I flew to Oakland to visit my cousin, to have dinner with Jacque, and to hang out with Denise. It was all fun. Visited with friends and family. I went to Miss Ollie’s for lunch in Oakland, a fine restaurant in Fairfield, and the Beach Chalet in San Francisco, When I got back to the house in El Cerrito, I felt a little ‘hitch’ in my crotch. Thought it was my leotard pinching. Packed my bag, hopped on the BART, then hopped on a plane home on Monday.

Took a nap Tuesday afternoon and when I woke up my foot was numb, like it had fallen asleep. It was like that the rest of the day. Went to bed that night and when I woke up on Wednesday my other foot was numb, too! Seemed crazy to me.

The next day I had to teach school. By Friday I wasn’t any better. As the weekend went by, I noticed that my peeing was getting slower and slower, and then less and less. I certainly wasn’t drinking any less. And by Sunday, I realized that I hadn’t really voided at all.

Monday morning I called the doctor and she said to come in on Wednesday.

Monday evening I went to Bloom for my Mastermind group meeting. I noticed that I had not had my ‘morning constitutional’ that morning. I actually still hadn’t peed either. Tuesday I went to the Storytellers meeting at CSN. By then I noticed that I hadn’t been to the bathroom at ALL. Good thing I was going to see the doctor the next day.

She emptied my bladder. 250ccs of urine. Our bladder only holds 30-50 ccs before we need to void. She said go home and see what happens.

I had to go back the next day. Nothing happened in between. Crisis. I got a walking catheter. My legs were still numb. She told me I had to wear it until I had my urologist appointment – which was in 10 days. I was in tears. It was kind of overwhelming, I mean, I just came in to find out why I couldn’t pee and now I had a walking catheter! My legs and feet were numb and I didn’t know what was happening. I begged her to let me check back with her earlier than that. She gave me until the following Thursday.

When I went back to my appointment on Thursday, she recommended that I go immediately to the Emergency Room. She wrote a letter outlining the severity of my situation and I was admitted within 15 minutes. My husband had just made it in from parking the car…

The hospital is a whole other story. The outcome of which was that my bladder finally started working again, I got intravenous steroids and I got released. However, my feet and legs were still numb. The neurologist said it was a single episode of transverse myelitis. I got two referrals – a urologist and a neurologist outside the hospital.

I got a clean bill of health from the urologist. Bladder is fine he said.

Nothing but more referrals from the neurologist. He asked me twice if I had cancer. Even referred me to an oncologist and ordered a Spinal Tap. No sign of cancer, said the oncologist. Spinal Tap was clear.

Now about the neuropathy…

Since no one was addressing the numbness in my feet, I went online in search of a natural solution to my neuropathy. Discovered the author of the book Natural Neuropathy Solutions. He has a clinic right up the road in North Las Vegas – around the corner from Costco!

Monday morning therapies. Friday Morning therapies. Supplements. It’s been interesting. The reality is that it was much worse and much more painful than it is now. It’s been weeks. I was on a 90-day regimen. I have a little more than 40 days left. My back is better. The numbness is subsiding. My feet…well, they go back and forth. What’s my goal? I want to take a Zumba class again…someday soon.

I have faith in my body, in my healing, and in my recovery. This is not a setback. Les Brown says ‘Every setback is a setup for a comeback.’

I’m ready for my comeback.

Happy Holiday Time

Or so they say. 

This year the holidays have had a rough start for me. In October, not quite the holiday season, my shoulder went out! Turns out I had a slight contusion, that I have mild tendiosis (that’s tendinitis that doesn’t go away) and mild arthritis. The upshot is that it all happened at the same time on the same day and I was down for the count! SO painful. By the third day, I was almost in tears when CBD cream with THC came to my rescue. I’m better now. Although my left arm is starting to act up, I’m doing my Louise Hay affirmations starting now!

Was listening to the radio and heard my first Christmas song, I don’t even know what it was. It just had me crying like a baby. Missing my Mom and my Dad. Wishing this holiday would just go by.

I haven’t missed my Mom this much in a while.

November. I didn’t want to go to my son’s mother-in-law’s house. We’ve been eating Thanksgiving there every year for a while now. I wanted to cook my own Thanksgiving. I bought a turkey. Turns out that after much texting back and forth, my son decided they were not going to come to Vegas. Let me off the hook. His mother-in-law even went down there for Thanksgiving. So I got to cook my turkey and feed my son who lives here and his girlfriend.  KD got leftovers. And we all had leftovers days later.

Watching and listening to YouTube, Alicia Keys comes on and it’s her concert in New York City. She starts singing ‘New York’ and I start crying again. I miss the East Coast? Really?

This morning I was checking out Facebook, and I saw a video about a contest in a Lowe’s (or Home Depot) to ‘Sing-a-song and win a prize.’ I clicked on it. The guy singing looked a lot like my Dad, and he was singing ‘One in a Million You’ and it made me think of my Dad and it made me cry all over again.

I know I will get through this. It is, after all, the most wonderful time of the year…

https://youtu.be/1TC02VaB1Rw

Alive at 65

It is good to be alive. I have outlived my family. If they could see me, would they be proud? 

My Daddy was a jazz musician. I didn't follow in his footsteps. I am a dancer.

My Mother worked for the Federal Government for years. I was not so good at keeping a job for more than 2 1/2 years at a time. Now I substitute teach.

My big sister retired from the Police Force in her city and admonished me to 'put away a little something' every week. Even if it was just $5. I didn't. I haven't. 

My second sister passed unnoticed. She was sick for most of her life. It was inevitable.

And here I stand. 

I like to think that I have come into my own. Is there a problem if there is no one to see the progression? I am impressed.

I like to think that I have matured in my own way. Is there a problem if there is no one who remembers me then? I am proud of how far I have come. 

I like to believe that I have become a better, wiser, woke and conscious individual. So are the people who surround me. We are of like mind. They wouldn't notice. I notice all the time. I am connected. I am supported. The Universe has my back. 

I still love the arts. I love to dance. I love to act. I love to be onstage. I love to be backstage. I am a star in my own show.

I love to support. I am your cheerleader. I believe in you. I am Samela Sunshine. I bring the light!

I love to speak. I love to lead. I love to inspire. I am your motivation. Look who I am. Look what I'm doing. Has opportunity passed me by? No, I say.

I am an advocate for multicultural individuals 55 years and older. Society says we are old at 50, Senior Citizens at 55, Elderly at 65 and then, Invisible. Not true! My heart is still in it. My head is still in it. My body is willing to participate to the best of its ability and I am willing to fight the good fight. For our dignity, for our humanity and for our visibility.

It is good to be alive. I know my family can see me. I know they are proud. 

The Effects of Using Negative Language

Are you accomplished, enlightened, learned, sage and wise? Or are you confused, decrepit, incompetent and declining? The language used to describe aging, the way people talk to and about older adults, and the way we talk to and about ourselves matters. If you say ‘I feel old or over-the-hill,’ your mind believes every word you say.  Your mind and body act in a way that matches how you describe yourself. Don’t refer to yourself as ancient or as an antique, even jokingly, because it causes your mind to picture what that is – and your body works to meet the picture. When you feel tired and look tired, don’t say ‘I look old’ which becomes a more permanent state of affairs, say ‘I look tired,’ which is a temporary situation.

Also, watch that language of saying ‘they’ and ‘those,’ and make it about ‘us’ and ‘we.’ “We’re all aging, every day. It is about ‘us.’

And I want everyone to know that we can find things to call ourselves besides ‘Senior Citizens’ to help change and clarify who we really are and what it means. The word “elderly” labels older people as being infirm, frail and dependent. It is most definitely a judgment and labels an entire cohort of people, based on age, in a negative light. It’s not unfair to say that society in general considers all people 65 years and older as “elderly”. In reality, there is a lifetime between a 65-year-old person and a 90-year-old person.

Instead, ‘Older Adult’ is factually descriptive and confers no judgment. ‘Older Americans’ is a good alternative to ‘Senior Citizen’ in this country.

Language is everything and if we know who we are and who we want to be, we can change others perspectives as well.

What is a concert

What is a concert? Is it based on the venue? What validates a musicians’ skill? Is it playing in a large auditorium on a college campus? Is it performing in a popular performance space in a particular town? What of the singers who hold concerts in churches? Is that not a valid medium?

I went to a concert at church one evening and the next day at work, when my co-worker asked what I had done, I said I went to a concert.

Oh, yeah?, he said, Who’d you see?

I replied, A popular singer in the new thought movement, she performed at my church.

That’s not a concert, he said, and he walked away.

That’s not a concert? I thought to myself. Is the popular perception is that a church is not a ‘valid’ performance space? Although there are many major churches with sanctuaries the size of small stadiums, and outdoor events attended by more individuals than any concert in a neighboring City Arts Center, do people not consider these ‘real concerts’?

Our society has established yet another exclusionary group. It’s a different kind of prejudice. This judgment is not based on the color of their skin, or their sexual orientation, this is prejudice against their ‘spiritual’ orientation.

How do we dispel the myth that any major gathering of individuals for the purpose of sharing nothing but fun and music is a concert? What was Woodstock, I ask you, if not a gathering of individuals for the purpose of nothing but fun and music? And what about ‘Live-AID’ – a concert for a cause? Having worked their way up through the ‘music school of hard knocks’, do New Thought musicians now have to fight for their ‘validity’ in popular culture?

These musicians, singers, and songwriters are all ‘valid’ musicians in their own right and can hold their own standing on the line next to Bonnie Raitt, Katy Perry, Phil Collins, George Benson, Patti Labelle, or Stevie Wonder. How is their music considered ‘less than’ by their choice of venue? I am certain that their peers would not feel that way.

Gospel singers have a special place in the music world because they are supported by a community rooted in religious tradition. And Gospel Music has made a significant impact on mainstream music. Many popular singers, particularly the Black Divas, have their roots singing in churches and church choirs. Well, conversely, popular music has had a major influence on New Thought music, and it is well worth the result.

I had an idea. Perhaps these singers can hook up with current popular artists and be the opening act in a variety of venues. Certainly these individuals have the right to pick for whom they’ll open; but hitching their star to an already popular singer is a start.

But a better idea came to me. A venue, perhaps already popular for hosting small theater or dance companies, open it’s doors to these New Thought / Spiritual singers. Places with season ticket holders and audiences sophisticated enough to enjoy whatever popular culture comes their way. Here would be an opportunity for these singers to get their names out there; earning their fame for their musical talent rather than their ‘spiritual’ orientation. Just a thought.

And beyond what others may say, the concert was outstanding, entertaining and 100% valid.

They Booed Last Night

When I was in high school, the drama club put on the play ‘The Children’s Hour.’ If you’re not familiar, it’s a play about a little girl who was a real BRAT.  She killed people and was generally a real demon. The play was outstanding. The girl who played the lead was excellent. However, when it was time to take bows, she was booed off the stage! Now, I understood at that moment, that they were not booing her performance, they were booing the character that she played. She ran off the stage in tears.

I was reminded of this last night when I went to see the play ‘Waitress.’ The guy that plays her husband was a real jerk. He mistreated her and had a real misogynist view of the world. When the play was over and he took his bow, several people in the audience booed. Again, not because of his acting, but because of his character.

I don’t know if this is written anywhere…and I don’t know if this is just an example of folks who don’t know how theater works. When an actor does an outstanding job of the character her or she plays, it is normal to give an ovation, a powerful, positive ovation. When an actor gets booed, at their level of sensitivity, it often might not be a good sign. Tell them later. Stay after and tell them that you booed the character they played, not them as an actor.

I hope that the actor on stage last night, as well as that young girl from my high school, appreciate that what they did then and what they do now is outstanding and that they are being booed for all the right reasons.

Paris Poem

I alit from the train, bright sunlight in my eyes
In the dark, on the plane, on the bus, on the train
I have been sitting in the dark, for hours now
I walk along the city streets, foreign language in my ears
See the shops, city cars, festive vendors on the way
I have been walking, for hours now
Breakfast at a Patisserie, with Café au lait, salade at a sidewalk
café, Dinner in an African restaurant, fine aromas in my nose
France is ripe with Africans – they are everywhere
I have been moving, for hours now
The Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, Invalides, and the Champs Elysees,
Pictures with new found friends
I have been touring, for hours now
On the train, on the bus, on the plane, in the dark
I have been sitting, for hours now
I am home.

My Birthday Cometh

Did you know that there are places in the world where women are allowed to age naturally and gracefully without any regard for their age or weight?

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to live in an environment where time is measured only in celebrations and milestones without regard to dates or time? Where women are allowed to age naturally without the scrutiny of an age-obsessed society where the goal is to always look and be the epitome of youth rather than the wisdom of agelessness?

Unfortunately, I have not discarded numbers entirely. I still celebrate the decades. Beyond that, however, my life is one exciting, eventful marvel after another. My first time in an airplane. My first love. My first kiss. My first trip to Europe. Class Mascot. The passing of a parent. Moving across country. Dancing on stage. The birth of my twins. An adventure filled trip across the country by car with kids in tow. A sold out dance performance. A trip to Hong Kong. Another baby is born. My first cruise. Managing. Directing. Producing. Presenting. These are the measure and the memories.

I have the pleasure of watching myself grow, watching my children grow and watching their children grow and on and on without regard to a NUMBER OF YEARS. For what is age anyway except a recording of the times the sun has revolved around the earth - sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly? Age is only a number. How is that number relevant? It is only society that gives it relevance…Oh, you’re only how old? Oh, you’re really THAT old? Unnecessary observations. Forget about it. Keeping track isn’t really necessary.

My life is a miracle every time I wake up and open my eyes, therefore my life is a celebration every day. One good time becomes one good day becomes one good week…and so it goes. Good times, good friends, family, and adventures. Milestones, discoveries, spiritual awakenings, revelations. Time is an illusion. We have no control. Time passes. Keep track of the good stuff, the great stuff, the important stuff. Celebrate the arrival and the departure of our bodies here on earth, and all the magnificence in between.

  The Dash by Linda Ellis, Copyright Inspire Kindness, LLC 1996, www.thedashpoem.com

I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on the tombstone from the beginning…to the end. He noted that first came the date of birth and spoke of the following date with tears, but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years. For that dash represents all the time that they spent alive on earth. And now only those who loved them know what that little line is worth. For it matters not, how much we own, the cars…the house…the cash.  What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash. So, think about this long and hard. Are there things you’d like to change? For you never know how much time is left that can still be rearranged. If we could just slow down enough to consider what’s true and real and always try to understand the way other people feel. And be less quick to anger and show appreciation more and love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before. If we treat each other with respect and more often wear a smile, remembering that this special dash might only last a little while. So, when your eulogy is being read, with your life’s actions to rehash… would you be proud of the things they say about how you spent your dash?   © 1996-2018, Inspire Kindness, LLC

 

Forward

Do we ever stop getting tears in our eyes when we stub a toe?

Do we ever stop missing our parents when they are dead? I read a quote once that said, “No matter how your parents treated you, you’ll miss them when they are gone.” 

Do we ever stop pining for our first true love?

Do we ever stop feeling so overwhelmed with joy that sometimes it, too, drips out of our eyes?

Emotions are like children, often allowed to run wild and rampant and free. As long as no one gets hurt, all is well.

It is great to be happy, to keep a smile on our face, especially when there is so much going on that is out of our control. Have faith that it will work itself out.

It usually does.

When you are sad, be sad. Sometimes overnight. Sometimes for days. Weeks can be dangerous. If it stretches into weeks, seek consolation in a friend, partner or therapist.

In the passing of friends, remember the good times.

In the debilitation of health, be grateful for what you can still do.

In the loss of a relationship, remember that your heart won’t really break.

If you are grieving, get a hug from somebody. Anybody.

If you are just feeling a little out of sorts, often a smile or a laugh can make it better.

When you don’t feel like smiling, take a nap.

Or go to the park and sit on a bench and watch the children play.

Or go to the beach and sit on the sand and watch the waves.

Or go to the mountains and bask in their majesty.

Or just take a walk around your neighborhood. Movement is good for the soul. 

Any movement. All movement.

And remember, as long as you wake up, get up; 

and as long as you can get up, keep moving. 

It’s forward from here.

Why Network Marketing Attracts Seniors

By Dr. Victoria Boyd

Why was Network Marketing (NM) the right choice for me? I had no intention of becoming a My Daily Choice/Hempworx affiliate – I just did what came naturally and authentically. After using it I talked about my experience and positive results from the CBD product. I had an inflammation problem and it solved it. And if you know anything about marketing, one of the most effective strategies is word of mouth recommendations – a testimonial of sorts. From there it snowballed into buying products for my friends and family, and me recognizing that this might be a good opportunity. But – that is not really what got me on board.

My passion was training or teaching others, to serve and help them get to another level. My initial thought was I wanted to help others relieve pain as it had done for me. Then I read a Forbes article* that spoke to me. It summed up perfectly why the NM industry and in particular why Hempworx had been like a magnet attracting me and ultimately a perfect fit. The article made me aware of needs I didn’t even know I had. Maybe you are in the same situation.

Let’s Talk Retirement: Taking financial considerations out of the retirement equation there are several additional gaps we as retirees experience which include feeling unfulfilled, bored or irrelevant. I didn’t know it at the time but NM filled those gaps for me. It not only fostered a positive attitude and atmosphere, but also a lot of structure and activity. My company offers weekly calls, tons of interaction, and an annual conference. All of which gets me and other members out of the house, building knowledge and developing new skills, while offering me the opportunity to meet new people and deepen existing connections.

The Forbes article also pointed out how many retirees former life revolved around their work relationships and when that is gone they are often left lost and struggling to make the transition. Specifically, they struggle to jump start their health goals, to connect with new people, to learn new things, yet yearn to be a part of a community. As quoted from the article, “the average retiree is at least 25 pounds overweight, feels tired for some part of the day, may be moderately depressed about something, has low self-esteem in one or two areas of life, acknowledges they only kind of have a best friend, and overall lead pretty plain lives.”

Now this is not to say, network marketing can solve all your problems, and that every company in the industry is worth joining. What I am telling you is that the network marketing model is a low cost, widely available way to replace some of the psychological gaps you lose, and may not be able to develop on your own. The team building format of NM’s can play a vital role in supplementing a person’s social network which is impacted by retirement.

As a baby boomer, you also may feel like I did. As I was transitioning from a 30+ year career I knew I wasn’t ready to ‘retire’ but looked upon it as an opportunity to do things I had a passion for – on my own terms. I didn’t want a job – I wanted a mission. So my journey began creating my retired life. When I entered the network marketing industry, I gained a new perspective.
Personally speaking, I love talking with people who are in this industry because they are always reading, posting, and sharing something inspirational. They have goals and are using the products that they sell to improve their life. This fosters a positive attitude and atmosphere, adds structure and activity, gets members out of the house, builds knowledge and develops new skills while offering them the opportunity to meet new people and deepen existing connections.

Health and Wellness based companies, in particular, are well positioned for retirees to enter with greater ease and success for two reasons. First, as we get older our own health becomes a focal point. We can speak from experience. Good health creates positive momentum. When people start to lose weight, have more energy, feel better and perhaps even get compliments, this all builds momentum. They see, feel, and hear the benefits of their efforts paying off which encourages them to stick with the changes they are making. We also talk about it, well I did. Hmmm, does that sound like a testimonial?

Second, there is the community group effect. For example, many seniors struggle to develop and stick with a new health, diet, and/or exercise program on their own. But when they do it in a supportive community with others, it’s much easier to get through the tough days and stay on track. Furthermore, by taking care of yourself, you are in a position to leave a better legacy than money could ever provide.

Now here’s the perk I haven’t even mentioned. You can earn commissions – MONEY
– while living a fulfilling life, helping others, being engaged, and for me – having fun!
My involvement with MDC/Hempworx has filled many of my mind, body, spirit and even some financial needs. It can do the same for you. Reach out and let’s have a chat. We would love to have you join Rock’s Tribe.

Explore the full line of products for People & Pets:
www.Hempworx.com/RocksPlace